The value of sharing the negative.

So I shared something lousy that happened to me yesterday, and I heard from quite a few people, which made me feel much, much better. I miss Twitter a lot, and I assure you, I will be back, although in a somewhat sanitized format. No more “indecency” from me, at least, not on the surferrosa account.

I’ve done a lot of thinking over the last day about library people (in particular) sharing things that have happened to them that are not positive. We all want to shout from the hills when something good happens, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I love hearing about others’ successes. But I also think that sharing things that happen that aren’t so sunny can remind others that they aren’t alone in whatever professional problem or crisis they’re facing.

I remember reading a post by a blogger with a very big soapbox where she described how frustrating it was to feel like you get little (if any) respect at your workplace, yet outside of your workplace people believe in you and encourage you. It was a very brave thing to write, and I think that most of us (myself included) would shy away from putting themselves out there in that manner. I read that and I felt like I was less alone. Here was this woman who has probably accomplished more in five or six years than most of us will in our entire career, and she was going through the exact same thing that I was (and that I continue to go through). She was professionally active and well-respected by many in the field, yet at her workplace, she was nothing but chopped liver. I hadn’t accomplished a tenth of what she had, yet her disclosure made me feel better about my similar situation. I will never forget how hurt I was when a “leader” at my workplace was extremely dismissive of a major professional accomplishment. All of my respect for her completely vanished, and has never returned.

Many of us out there have the same problems. We’re not alone. We’re trying to toe the line between who we are and who our supervisors want us to be. I’ve been at my job long enough to know that I’m never going to be the person my supervisor wants me to be–and that’s fine. She’s never going to be the supervisor I want her to be–and I have learned to live with that too. We are different people with different styles, and are unlikely to see eye to eye about most things. I’m not the same kind of leader she is. I value different things. That’s not an insult to her or her legacy or her accomplishments–that’s reality. But sadly, I often feel that blazing my own trail–doing things the way I feel is right, or connecting with the profession differently, or being open and vocal and yes, sometimes a little bit crass–is seen as an insult. And it’s not.

There are times that I wish I could start a Dream Library with a Dream Library Staff–a group of people with similar values and perceptions, an unstoppable brain trust who would get things done and have a damn good time doing it. People who wouldn’t be afraid to make fun of things that are worthy of being made fun of, but who can throw down and do the serious work that needs to be done. We could do great things. And maybe someday we will. But for now, we need to remember that we aren’t alone, that our problems and concerns are not just ours, and that there is someone out there–probably multiple someones–who are going through the same thing that we are. And based on everything I’ve gone through in the last day, not feeling alone makes things seem a whole lot better.